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I vividly remember the days where I would just be star-strucked at the sight of medical students and doctors in their white coats and stethoscope hanging around their neck when visiting hospitals. While watching television or reading books, I would always imagine myself in the place of the character as a doctor. As my interest in biology and helping people grew stronger, I became motivated to fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a doctor.
But after the day I entered medical school; my perception towards the medical career totally changed.
I was bombarded with thick textbooks that were huge enough to break a table and the endless number of lectures put me into an infinite loop of studying. During the preclinical years, we were taught the six subjects, anatomy, physiology, biochemistry, microbiology, pathology and pharmacology. Anatomy is the study of the structure of the human body and it was one of my favorite subjects. Physiology is the study of normal body function. Biochemistry is the study of the biological reactions in the body and it was the most hated subject among all of us. Microbiology is the study of all the microbes that cause diseases in the human body. Pathology is the study of diseases and pharmacology was the study of drugs. The six subjects combined formed the pre-clinical years which will help build the necessary knowledge for our clinical years. PBL sessions where we brainstorm together as we try to understand the triggers given and the clinical practice session where we hone our physical examination skills was fun.
But soon depression took a toll on me. As I used to be one of the top students in my class during high school, but after entering medical school, I was the lowest in the hierarchy of grades. It was then I realized that being a medic student is not just about the glamorous life where by the student carries a book and stethoscope around them, and they can just miraculously diagnose and perform a surgery for a certain pathological condition shown in television and books.
The reality was that behind those glamorous life, lots of time and effort were spent reading through textbooks and studying the clinical terms.
I was behind my classmates in terms of studies and felt far behind my friends in terms of medical knowledge. This dragged me into the endless loop of crying, procrastinating and being guilty for not being good enough. But whenever I looked at my stethoscope or saw a patient as I took history during the hospital visits, I become motivated again to be determined to continue on this path and fulfill my dream as a doctor.
It is a tough road but without my friends and lecturers who were loving and caring, I would not have been able to make it through 1st and 2nd year of medical school. Medical school is tough but through perseverance and compassion, I believe that I too can overcome this hurdle to become the future doctor of my country.
by Thant Htike Zaw, a second year medical student in UCSI.