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Game development is one of many new jobs that could truly help people in the future.
The funny thing is; on the same day I was invited to write an article by a close friend of mine, I went to a school to help out students for a debate competition. I was asked by one of the teachers of what I do and I told her I was a game developer. Her response was, shall we say, lukewarm at best. The common quote I often hear from reluctant teachers or parents:
“Oh, you’re one of those people who spoil our students…”
It’s become such a common problem, much less an excuse, that it has inspired me to prove them wrong; that games are quite the opposite of being the catalyst of spoiled children. I believe they can learn much from being handed a controller and being immersed in a game that can do what a movie or even a book can, and so much more.
The question is, however…
What Kind of Developer Do I Want to Be?
Because for the entirety of my time as a game developer, I have been trying to figure out what I would like to do to contribute to the gaming industry and share my ideas with players. Shifting through multiple fields of the industry has given me a bigger insight into what it has to offer for everyone, even if it took an unpleasantly long time to get it right…
To put it frankly, Game Development involves three fields of work:
Game Art (for the visual beauty of the game), Game Tech (for the programming and coding that makes the game work) and Game Design (the brains of the operations, the one who comes up with the mechanics, story and overall direction of the game).
In college alone, I’ve been studying through Art because I wanted to try and see if I was capable of creating a physical form of my ideas. That didn’t really turn out well, when I found out just how complex it was for me, not to mention how much better everyone else was than me. And then I switched to Programming, for it was the one with most job opportunities. Unfortunately, my ability to work through big lines of code is just as efficient as a hoarder in a room, let alone the house…
So finally, I settled on being a Game Designer; someone who could come up with the fundamentals of the game and ideas that could benefit the projects I would work on.
But even a Designer has its smaller fields of its own…
So again, the question became of what kind of Designer do I need to be…?
Well, the truth is; I kind of already figured it out the moment I finally chose to be one. As of late, I’ve always been engrossed by how movies, books and, of course, games could inspire its players through not only the fun of the games, or the sharing of it with others, but with the ability to tell a story while giving players the utmost advantage of providing an immersive experience; by allowing the players to be the character of said story.
So, finally, I decided to be a Game Narrative Designer, the man responsible for the writing and story development of a game. It soon involved to Writing in general, since I’ve delved into fanfiction to improve my skills, but doing it for a game was a lot more fun, especially since you get to work with other designers to blend narrative with gameplay.
To me, games are stories with immersion (this being the keyword that, I believe, makes games a great form of media).
The Work
First of all, the moment I chose to be a Designer, it was well within the dreadful period of Final Year Project. So, there was a mixed stance in where I was going to move on from. After being shifty with my career choices, I was yet to fully understand how Game Design works, having to attend extra classes to catch up. Thankfully, I was able to catch on considerably well and managed to get things straight for the final project in college.
On the bright side, learning Art and Tech gave me a better idea on how to work with the team I was assigned with, so that I am acquainted with both sides of the development.
So, how does a Designer work? For me, other than being the story writer, I had to come up with the game itself, help everyone formulate plans and ideas on how to work with it and convince the lecturers that we could make a playable and sellable game.
It was my task to ensure that the team is consistent with each other’s’ works and blend them all in to produce a solid game. As a Narrative Designer, I had to make sure that the stories I write, the worlds I build and the characters I create do not contradict with the mechanics of the game itself. If I focus entirely on the story over the game, then I’m just making a movie, nothing else. So, it was important that I spoke to the other Designer of my team to get things done smoothly. Unfortunately, that guy was not the most responsible one of the bunch. He was supposed to be in charge of the project, but he was lagging us down. That was when I had to step up and take command of the team, but it was a struggle to lead the team.
For one, I am more a follower than a leader; any time I’m asked to lead, I’d rather relinquish command to another worthier candidate. However, the FYP team needed a designer to lead them, so when prompted, I decided to stand up to myself and took the charge, doing whatever I could to salvage their efforts and produce something workable. While the results weren’t what we hoped for, we did manage to get a project that was playable and showed the potential of what we all were capable of.
It was through FYP that I realize; I do have what it takes to make a game, to work with people and help them get through the day.
Months after I graduated from KDU, it was off to do the usual; job-hunting. I was nervous at finding one. What kind of work am I expected to do? Can my own portfolio be feasible to get me in? Will I do good? All sorts of questions swam in my head the first time I tried to apply.
Thankfully, I managed to land a job at a small-time starter-up, run by well-respected seniors who had an ambition
to make something different from the rest of market.
Initially, I was asked to do the narrative of the game, to help reinforce the lore of the story. But then, it began to expand to other duties, such as making the level of the game and helping to work with the mechanics of the gameplay.
It was an interesting learning curve to work with tools that I never used before, and to develop along the way.
But there was one problem that has pretty much been an obstacle since school days…
Working with a Different Mind
As someone with a minor (very minor, thankfully) case of autism, I do have a unique mind that sets myself different from others. I don’t usually have the same interests as most other people do, and when I find something to do, I go the extra mile. I mean, I was known to be the history buff in my class during SPM, always looking to the world when I’m supposed to stick to Malaysian history. Or when I’m into Star Wars, I’ve got a whole assortment of novels and I make sure every detail in the books are taken in, which is a heck ton, if you ask me…
But having this condition has the usual problems…
It isn’t an easy struggle to develop your ideas and contributions with a development team throughout the development of one game. Well, at least ‘normal’ people might be able to work through this with a calm demeanour, a clear vision and a firm hand for the team.
But for a mentally challenged person like me, the struggle is often doubled.
I wasn’t really the most social wolf of the pack; neither was I the most capable. It was always a challenge to get past my quiet, reluctant self and contribute my ideas to teams before, because I always felt that everyone else around me had better ones and had more control over them; thus, giving them more of the voice than I did. When a mistake is made, it mostly felt like a wasted effort, that you would only slow down the team’s progress, no matter the scale…
I could not develop ideas as proficiently as most of my teammates, as more time was needed for me to finally come up with one. But pressed for time, I was not doing so well with firm starts.
But there is still the beauty of working with friends. Amidst the hesitance to speak up, there was the encouragement by others to help me move forward. Even knowing that I have my condition, they still stood by as I developed my being in the team. When it’s not the constant flow of communication and info sharing that formulated my work, it can also be the regular night sessions of Rainbow Six Siege to help improve my skills to speak and partner up with my colleagues.
So, at the end of the day, my autism did very little to curb my relations with the team members. Sure, it can be a handicap, but I was willing to challenge myself and work with everyone involved.
If given time and confidence from the team, I can definitely shout it out to everyone of what I have in store, and passion can come from places unknown, forming newer concepts.
“Truly wonderful the mind of a child is…” I quote from Grand Master Yoda.
Where am I Now?
Unfortunately, in Malaysia, finding a job as a Game Writer is not really the easiest thing in the world. As I have mentioned above, being a Programmer would give you an entirely better chance of being hired, because no one seems to be looking for Writers such as myself. Game studios looking for such a job are a dime a dozen here.
I’m still looking to find a place where I could write for games, and there are some places worth looking. In the meantime, I’m inclined to keep writing my own stories or coming up with my own game projects with the same level of fun and immersion. As long as I can share my ideas with people, I’d be glad to hop aboard for the ride and make things more fun for players.
In terms of teamwork, I have volunteered to help out in events throughout the state. The Star Wars Malaysian Fan Club is one good place to start, allowing me to not only help them organize new events, but also share my passion and knowledge as a major Star Wars fan (no worries, we’re not one of those angry fanboys). But it isn’t the end of the world.
As long as I hone in on what is missing, and venture out more into the industry, I will find my way, for it’s a big galaxy out there.
No matter how unique you are, you will find your place within society to share and create. And to me, games are the way of the future!
P/S: I am not certain whether the teacher I mentioned at the beginning was entirely against gaming for students, but it always reminded me of what some parents and teachers would say.
Darren Maung Shoay Thwe
Game Designer