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If you told the 12-year-old me that I would one day receive a JPA Bursary scholarship, I would have never believed in what you said. However, this story is not about scholarship application tips, it goes much further back.
Scholarships are usually associated with good grades and one would expect a scholar to have good SPM, PMR and even UPSR grades.
What if I told you, I have no UPSR grades?
What if I told you, I didn't even go to primary school?
You nailed it, I was homeschooled all throughout my primary school years up until I was 13. The first reaction I usually get from people is one of confusion; “Wait, so your house is your school?” “Do you really stay at home all day?” which quickly evolves to one of envy, “How I wish I could stay at home and sleep in!”
It was always amusing to watch my peers’ reactions and after a while, my brain would automatically spew out answers to their questions.
1. Why are you homeschooled?
In all honesty, it was mostly due to my parents’ doubts about the Malaysian public school education system and them wanting me to grow up in a more creative and less strict environment. My parents didn't even send me to a homeschooling centre (which resembles a tuition centre), instead I would be studying in my room with lunch and TV breaks in between. I won’t go into too much technicalities, but essentially, I followed the US syllabus which covered subjects such as English, Mathematics, Science, History, Geography and Bible Knowledge.
My homeschooling life seemed like the absolute dream for a 7-year-old; no school uniform, no screaming discipline teachers, no need to wake up at 6am! Although yes, I didn't have to be awake at the crack of dawn, my life was not as amazing as everyone thought it would be. My regular schedule involves reading a few chapters per subject, completing set exercises, handing in homework to my Mum and watching some educational videos. Not as fun as you thought huh?
Homeschooling certainly isn't for everyone.
As a kid, I was genuinely eager to learn new things and I was willing to live that kind of lifestyle. Homeschooling requires tremendous levels of self-discipline and organisation because my schedule isn't set by the system. If I want to learn something, I must make a conscious effort to do so. Socializing was also an issue as there weren't many avenues available. My friends were mostly the children of my parents’ friends who were also in the same homeschooling position as myself. At that time, homeschooling was not popular and there were only a handful of us who continued the entire journey.
2. Why did you switch to government school?
Most of my peers were switching from public primary schools to homeschool for their secondary school years and here I was, doing the exact opposite. The two main reasons for that switch is: a) opportunities to receive government funding and b) to expand my social circle.
I’m unsure who put this thought into my head but I knew that without sitting for SPM, I would stand no chance at applying for any scholarships to study abroad (which was my lifelong dream). Not only that, I also wanted to make more friends and gain a deeper understanding of the Malaysian culture. Although there was no guarantee of a scholarship, I still wanted to try.
3. How was the transition process?
I still vividly remember my first day of school, walking down the corridors and seeing a sea of white and blue uniforms queueing up to enter the class. It may seem appalling to most people but I only learnt the lyrics of our national song, “Negaraku” when I was 13. The list goes on; I only discovered the state of Perlis in my first Geography lesson when the teacher instructed us to label all the states of Malaysia. There were plenty of “firsts” during my Form 1 school year; from eating at the school canteen to creating a project for the “Kemahiran Hidup” workshops, my life definitely took a 360 degree turn.
Transitioning was certainly not an easy process, I had to quickly adapt to the different learning and teaching styles of the public school system. The public school education system involved a lot more of spoon-feeding, lack of creative outlets, rigid examinations and tons of memorising facts. Not only that, as Malay language was the primary language used, I had to go through a great deal of adjustments (both verbally and in writing). Thankfully, my parents sent me to Malay language tuition class previously and that was extremely helpful for me to cope with the new subjects and new language. Beyond the academic component in school, I also learnt how to navigate myself in social situations. High school drama taught me invaluable lessons about how to handle bullies and which group of people should I associate myself with. Of course, like any student, I was often frustrated with the stringent (and sometimes completely unnecessary) school rules and the deafening voice of our discipline teacher.
High school was the time where my identity as a Malaysian truly solidified.
During homeschooling, I wasn't exposed to people from different backgrounds and high school truly opened up the doors for me to fully understand Malaysian culture and the uniqueness of our society. My first Hari Raya and Deepavali open house was such an enjoyable experience and I was able to appreciate the various traditions on a more personal level (the delicious food goes without saying).
4. Advice
Firstly, my advice for students who are homeschooled; regardless of whether you are attending a centre or if you are studying in your own home, I hope my story encourages you and reminds you that it is not weird if you ever wish to switch to the public school path. If you believe it is the right choice for you (not anyone else) and if you have the valid reasons, go for it.
The journey won't be easy, but the entire experience will teach you about adaptability, humility and resilience. You need to be humble enough to know when to ask for help and at the same time have a degree of self-adaptability to new scenarios. The system can be incredibly frustrating, but it also allows you to access to numerous benefits which you didn’t have before. Things such as the science laboratory, clubs and societies and sports day were all foreign concepts to me until I started secondary school and it’s crazy to think how life would have been without those experiences. High school is a place where you can fall and pick yourself up, where you learn to pick your fights and where you learn to mature. It may seem like a tough period of your life but trust me, it will pass - continue to persevere.
For students who are continuing their homeschool journey, I urge you to not neglect your duties as a Malaysian citizen. I concede that it is not an easy task but I hope you will try to pick up simple, conversational Malay language. It is sad to see some young people nowadays who are only limited to interacting with English speakers.
Without Malay language, we are cutting ourselves off from a huge part of the Malaysian society and if we aren't careful, we may end up being trapped in an elitist bubble. Take some time to learn a little more about Malaysia’s history and engage with people from all walks of life.
I hope government school students will do their best to socialise with those who are transitioning from homeschool to public school and understand where they are coming from. The phrase “never judge a book by its cover” rings absolutely true and I implore everyone to practice this statement. I was blessed to have found friends who accepted me and helped me to understand the public school system. Not every person is as fortunate as we are and I hope we can each do our part to bring more empathy into this world, especially in the stage of high school where most youth are trying to figure out their own identity.
Looking back, I’m extremely grateful to be given the chance to experience the best of both worlds and I wouldn't want to change a single thing. Even if I didn't receive a scholarship, I believe the lessons I learnt from high school have taught me the values of discipline and hard work. Regardless of the type of education you have experienced or currently experiencing it, make the most out of your experience and believe me, the memories you have will be one of your best memories.
Tracy Goh is a Yayasan Khazanah Scholar currently studying Law at King's College London. She is passionate about many causes; including but not restricted to volunteering, mental health and climate change. In her free time, you can find her chilling in London's parks (when the weather allows it) and probably drinking bubble tea. Tracy is very much aware of the privilege she has been given to study abroad and hopes to help other students achieve their goals.