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A Greek pre-Socratic philosopher, Heraclitus once said, “no man ever steps into the same river twice.” Yes, it is true that every river has its own name and for the most part, a constant physical location, but so long as it is steadily flowing, one could never be standing in the same river. I have lived for 22 prosperous years, and Heraclitus said it best, that change has been the only thing constant in my life.
Growing up in a town on the east coast of the peninsular, where education and opportunity can be somewhat scarce, a fresh graduate from secondary school most likely, can only expect to look elsewhere for better opportunities and education. It is scary to think that the biggest obstacle of post-secondary school life would not just be the harsh grinding from a tertiary institution, but in fact, the taste of true independence and freedom. Moving to a different city, state or maybe even crossing oceans to begin the next chapter of your life can be very intimidating, especially if you have to do it alone. Change is bound to happen sooner or later, whether you like it or not. My first change occurred when I was lucky enough to have received a scholarship from the United States Department to participate in the Youth Exchange Study (YES) Program.
As a naive teenager, it was hard to ignore an opportunity to travel to the “land of opportunity”, the great United States of America. One day I was feeling excited to travel nine thousand miles away from home and the next thing I realized, I was dizzy, laying in an unfamiliar bed, waking up to a couple of “Ang Mo” faces. What seemed like would be a fun and exciting adventure, turned into the world’s scariest rollercoaster.
Throughout the rollercoaster ride, I was hosted in a small town in Alabama by a sweet young couple whom I would have to refer to as “mom” and “dad” for the next few months. As big of a change that was, it wasn’t as scary as the fact that I would have no choice but to spend my next six months in a town which I knew absolutely no one.
Everything was different in Alabama. From the weather to their culture as well as the way they spoke, what apparently was English. I was required to attend the local high school. Since grades didn’t really matter, I opted to enroll in classes that no way in a million years would be offered in a typical Malaysian high school. I ended up enrolling in a few interesting classes such as American History, Environmental Science, Psychology and an Engineering class. In order to assimilate better, I joined the school’s baseball team and the Ambassadors Club which is a social work club.
There were good times, there were bad times, as many ups as there were downs. It took me a couple of weeks to get adjusted to the change. Over time, I was able to bond with many people especially the guys from the baseball team. Seeing each other everyday at practice, baseball wasn’t the only thing we talked about. We started exchanging stories and experiences about each other’s lives, which for me, was a window of opportunity to gain some insight into the American life. The more I listened, the more I was able to compare the similarities as well as differences among our cultures. Alongside my Psychology class, the more I thought about it, the more I found myself trying to analyze and understand the underlying reasons behind our similarities and differences. Little did I know that it was then, my passion for Psychology began.
Fast forward a few months, I was finally home. Expecting that I could catch up with my family, friends, and enjoy the local delicacies that I have missed so much, at least that was what I thought. In reality, I was immediately pressured to decide what and where I would be continuing my tertiary education. The second day I got back, I was already forced to visit colleges and talk to counsellors about the courses and majors that would best suit me. In Malaysia, there is a high regard for industries that are considered to be “professions” such as doctors, lawyers, engineers, etcetera.
Due to my excellent scores in math related classes during my SPM (Malaysian Certificate of Education), most of the counselors recommended me to think about Engineering course. Certainly, it didn’t take my parents much to buy into the idea. However, something didn’t feel right. The idea of having to choose what would be the beginning of my career path under societal pressure and expectations bothered me. Yet, I myself wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life.
Eventually I gave in to the pressure, but in order to compromise, I persuaded my parents to allow me to enroll in Engineering course under the American Degree Program (ADP). With this program, I was able to first enroll in Engineering and still be able to take a variety of classes from different disciplines. I was also able to switch majors within the first two years if I wanted to without severe repercussions.
I seized this opportunity to enroll in a variety of different classes, from STEM subjects all the way to the social sciences (e.g. Psychology, Economics, Biology, Public Speaking, Calculus, etc.). A few semesters in, I realized I had a strong preference towards the social sciences (i.e. Psychology and Economics). However, when I pitched the idea to my parents, things weren’t received all too well. The idea that I would be doing a Bachelor of Arts instead of a Bachelor of Science seem to be killing them softly from the inside.
Personally, I shared their concerns as well. I started questioning myself and started having doubts. “What if I can’t find a job in the future?”, “what if my job doesn’t pay well?”, a whole bunch of “What-ifs” kept going through my mind. In a semi-conservative country like Malaysia, Psychology wasn’t a mature enough industry. It was mostly perceived to only be related to mental illnesses and counseling. But I told myself I had to do something about it.
Eventually I decided to take a semester off to take up some internships that are Psychology related. After that, only one thing was clear, which was my passion for Psychology. So much so that I believe I was able to convince my parents that Psychology is so much more than what they had thought it was, it was a huge change. I eventually ended up majoring in Psychology, finishing up my degree at the University of Texas at Austin.
Fast forward to the present day, am I concerned that I chose Psychology? ABSOLUTELY! I would be lying if I said there is not a single day that goes by without me worrying about my future. But isn’t that just part of life? I am doing what I love and love what I am doing. However, it doesn’t mean that you could take life one day at a time without a plan. It is important to have passions and goals to work towards, otherwise you would just be living life without a purpose. Have a plan but be resilient to change.
In a nutshell, I guess the main message that I am trying to convey here through my longwinded story is that, plans hardly ever goes as planned. Change is a very big part of life. Expect it, be prepared for it and embrace it. I will end with one last quote by Rick Warren, “there is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss and no loss without pain.
Foo Xing Yuan, Research assistant, University of Texas at Austin